My {Evil} Twin

There's my {evil} twin.
She is not a very good friend.
She tries to tag along with me frequently and bash my positivity on life.
She's said lots of not-nice words lately.
She's an angry girl. In need of therapy or emotional release and forgiveness.
and some understanding.

Lately, my evil twin tries to tell me I am not happy with my life.
She realizes I have SO MUCH to be thankful and that I've been very blessed . . .
but doesn't want to be happy about that.
My evil twin is SO SICK of being around beautiful surroundings. Stunning actually.
And not truly feeling appreciative or at peace about them.
She realizes that life is a rollercoaster, but has not accepted that.
She realizes that this is a "photography blog", but that life is not always a series of beautiful photographs.
She feels VERY tired of trying to be patient, patient, patient with certain aspects of her life.

But she's still wishing you peace.
and knows it will return again with some more patience and help.
and she really is thankful for her friends' and family's support.

Time to get outside and face the bears.
Literally and figuratively.

Have a great weekend.
and tell my evil twin to go away.


ethiopifinn said...

love the beauty in the reality of this post. i'm sorry the bears are getting to you, but you are bigger and actually more loved than the woes and weariness.

sometimes it helps me to get a little creative when darkness rears its ugly head around here. makes it easier for an artist to process those colors we don't often use in our palette.

love to you! and God's Peace.

Amanda J. said...

Those darn Evil Twins. I have had some experience with my own (at times). It can be very hard not to listen to them. Just so you know, I am envious of the views you get to see everyday. Hope things look a little more positive soon!

Anonymous said...

Hugs Jen. Here's a bit of Waylon and Jessi for you.

Storms never last do they, baby
Bad times all pass with the winds
Your hand in mine steals the thunder
You make the sun want to shine

Oh, I followed you down so many roads, baby
I picked wild flowers and sung you soft sad songs
And every road we took, God knows, our search was for the truth
And the storm brewin' now won't be the last...

This song always reminds me that even if today isn't a happy one, tomorrow will be a new day. (Quick story - one day Brenna had been having a rough evening and as she was laying in bed I told her that tomorrow will be a new day. She loved hearing that. And now she reminds me to tell her that every night. :) It's a good reminder even for myself after a long day.


Laura Jean said...

I love the amazingly honest post- it is so good for people to see that they are not alone with the bears, and that so many of us have that evil twin. (((HUGS))) from Minnesota. I pray you find your peace very soon!

Anonymous said...

In life we have choices, and if you feel you are being overwhelmed by your "Evil Twin", it's time to seriously make the choice of getting help (yes, as in therapy) and to completely remove yourself from those situations which make you unhappy, resentful and angry. It's not healthy. It's degrading on your beautiful personality.I am glad you are truly honest with yourself. God will never forsake you, and he is a very forgiving God, so turn to him in time of need and surround yourself with Christian friends and family. Love you tons and I will continue to pray for you.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your "Evil Twin" is very, very tired of having patience with certain things in her life. And, your "Evil Twin" is also fearful to do anything about it. Why? Because, perhaps, she is afraid of abandonment. Unfortunately, abandonment is a great fear for many women. It poisons relationships and keeps women prisoners in unhealthy situations, such as (maybe) being abandoned by your husband...... physically and emotionally. We do not have to fear anything if we know that GOD will never leave us. Yes, we may feel lonely at times, but if GOD is with us we have nothing to fear. I pray you find peace and your "evil twin" will go away.

Megan Lorraine said...

Sorry bout the evil twin Jen. I know even though you live in a beautiful area, your family and many friends are fare away anfd that can get lonesome. know we think about you daily though and will say a little prayer to send you "sunny" days. Love you and god's peace! And for the record tell your evil twin to buzz off. You are amazing, don't think otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen, I haven't commented on your blog before, but I like to check out your pictures, they are always amazing and I would love to have the chance to live somewhere outside of Michigan for awhile. Anyhow sorry to hear things aren't the greatest at the moment. One thing to keep in mind though is that it is totally normal for even the most positive people (of which you are one) to have ups and downs, I think anyone who's honest with themselves would attest to that. It's one of those things in life that we can't always control besides knowing that tomorrow is a new day and next year is new year which brings new changes and experiances into our lifes and that is what makes life interesting and even though some of them are tough to handle, they are always worth going through cause they are part of what makes you who you are and form the basis for your appreciation of what you have. Keep your head up! sorry about the ramble. god's peace

Anna said...

It really stinks when that ugly side rears it's head in life. Know that with faith you will get through, you are a wonderful person, Jen!

Make Trina or Ev or (insert person here) take you out for coffee. Life is always a little brighter with your girlfriends around. God's Peace.

Amanda Kay said...

Best of luck to you...life is not always sunshine and roses.....but with time and support you can get through anything....even if the pain is forever in your heart. :)

Jan said...

Hey- I can so understand your post here- though I am not feeling like this now.

If I was there, I would let you lay your burdens on my shoulders for a little while so you could rest.

Here are a couple of things people have said to me that have stuck with me through bad times:

It is the strong people who get help.

From the grayest clouds come the bluest skies.

I will not "should" on myself today.

I send you lots of love, dear, and am thinking of you. Wish I could visit with you!

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen..sorry to hear about your rough times. Just wanted to say that I love you so much, you are an awesome friend even if we don't get to visit often--I so enjoyed seeing you and the great talk we had when you were "home" last. Please give me a call if you like, God's Peace,